Category: Invisible illnesses

Beat my alarm

Please sleep fairies, make sure I hear my alarm clock in the morning. It’s been such a long time since I have been to the gym and I would really like to go, early, before anyone else!

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My alarms are set! The dreaded alarms! I just don’t hear them! Honestly I don’t,  we’ve had people stop before that ask me why I don’t get up when my alarm goes off or at least just turn it off! Well there is a simple reason, I don’t hear them!
I have to rely on my partner to wake me when my alarms go off! That’s no easy task, apparently I can be really nasty & conveniently I don’t have any recollection of it! Some people would think I just say that but I really don’t! 

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I believe this is true, which for me means that looking in the mirror at myself must be the hardest thing in the world!
Well it is one of them for sure but I know there is harder for me! I’ll explain more about this in another blog!

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I totally intend on waking up & being awesome from the start!
Like I said, it’s been too long since I went to the gym! If I want to continue toning my body then I have to get back to the gym!
The alarm is set! I will hear it! I will get up!

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Looking forward to it! It’s late now, only 6 hours until that pesky alarm I’d due to scream!
Let’s do this!

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MS, you will never beat me! #thisgirlcan #ishapeme #megaspecialme #MS

Our new favourite class! Fight Klub!
Absolutely amazing!
Photo taken just before I went off and poured half a litre of water over my head to cool down!
MS you can try and stop me from doing things I enjoy, I’ll find a way around it, you will never beat me!

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My friend, pilates instructor and now also our fight klub instructor Hannah Bailey at the front.
Me and my partner at the back right, Deb in blue and me to the left of her!


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Paingry – when your in so much pain you feel angry!

What to do when your Paingry – when your in so much pain you feel angry!

I want to scream so loud my throat hurts, I want to cry so much that I run out of tears!
Crying makes me angry, I try not to cry! I don’t like to feel angry! I’ve felt enough anger in my teenage years, I don’t want to feel like that again!
I need to get this feeling out of me!

It hurts so much to move though, every twist or turn of my body. Every step I take, one step out, leaning forward on that leg before I put my next leg down. The pain that shoots from my back, into my bottom and down my leg. Repeat that motion as I take one more step, the same pain on the other side now!

It’s too much, I need my appointment! Please let me have my appointment date in the post tomorrow! It’s been 2 weeks, I need that appointment!

I’m angry, this pain makes me angry! I’ve done nothing wrong to deserve this!

I don’t want to be angry! I need to let it out! I need to go to Fight Klub!

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What’s that? You think I can’t do Fight Klub because I’m disabled!
Think again! No boundaries!

Adrenalin takes over, the pain is forgotten, I punch the bag! 👊 💥

In this time I know not of this disease inside me that no one can see.
I feel like I’m free!
Don’t stop me!

I need water, pour it over me
I’m too hot, I can’t see
So this is what happens when I want to feel free!
This is what I put my body through just to be me!


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I’m dedicated and I’m on it!

I’m wondering how dedicated I actually am to pilates!
I’m so tired, It’s so cold outside, I’m in so much pain and the cold is only going to make that worse! Gahhh!

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Ok, thought about it, weighed up the pros & cons!
11am Pilates, Hannah Bailey be ready for me girly!

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I’M DEDICATED AND I’M ON IT!
WITH AN ALMIGHTY PUSH, I’M GOING!

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#MiniBlog There are so many reasons to be happy

I surround myself in positive influences, positive people, proactive people!

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I never thought, ever, for one minute, that I would be able to say ‘I accept my life and I like where I am in life right now’

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#MS #exercise #smile #laughter #thisgirlcan #ishapeme #megaspecialme #MegaSpecial

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She’s a Whirlwind

Just gotta totes love my amazing friend & pilates instructor, Hannah Bailey. Did I mention she’s my ‘Fight Klub’ instructor too!

Photo took last night as she arrived for Fight Klub after she’d just taught ‘Clubbercise’ What a combo!
Yesterday she went from teaching adults with learning difficulties to aqua to pilates to clubbercise to the next class, ‘FIGHT CLUB’
She’s awesome, she’s mean! 👊💥
Then after class, she’s the wonderful Hannah!
Somewhere in all that madness she’s also a Specialist in pregnancy and sports massage! You just can’t imagine it can u!

5 years ago I would never have thought that I would be living this life with these friends and loving it!
I always loved different sports and activities but then MS and life stopped that!
MS will not stop me living my life any longer! Even if it means changing what I do, which I have and do you know what, it’s amazing!

It’s friends like Hannah that inspire me & give me my energy!
Everyone needs a Hannah! 😄

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#blog ‘When did peeling a banana become so hard?’

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I’ve come to learn that with MS comes a ‘Multitude of Sins’ maybe that’s what it also stands for as well as the original Multiple Sclerosis of course.
But then us MeSsy folk also like to rename it with names like one of my favourites ‘ManySmiles’ and of course the original one I was given to me by a very dear friend Toni. She is the one that told me MS just stands for what everyone has always known about me, it just means we’re all MegaSpecial! 

This brings me onto my silly bit of research I plan on doing later today, since my MS has progressed I have started to loose a lot of strength in my hands meaning my dexterity is poor!

I have had to start using different cutlery which I used to find embarrassing when eating out, until of course I got over myself! I’ve always liked to be different after all!

I find counting loose change to be difficult sometimes too, more so when I’m tired.
Using a ‘chip & pin’ machine can also be tricky, especially if I’m have a day when my tremors might be bad! Always fun trying to put your card into a machine when you can stop your hand from shaking and then trying to put your pin number in! It’s a good job we have ‘ManySmiles’

I have now also noticed how hard it can be for me now to peel Oranges and in particular Bananas!
When I was searching the internet for some images I could use for this blog I came across something very interesting!
I think I have been peeling bananas incorrectly my whole life but I’m not sure yet until I try it! So later today when I come to eat my Banana whilst having my monthly infusion of ‘Tysabri’ at my local hospital I attend for everything MS, instead of asking my ‘Ty buddy’ to peel my Banana for me I’m going to try it myself following these guidelines!

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I’ll let you know what happens! Stay tuned! ☆♡☆


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When simple tasks get the MegaSpecial treatment! #blog

When simple tasks get the MegaSpecial treatment!

I find that it’s so easy to forget about simple mundane tasks that become such a pain in the booty because MS gets in the way!

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Counting money into piles without it falling down because u now have the not so wonderful MS tremors!
Thank goodness I have mastered the art of laughing at myself!

#thisisourlifenow


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Thank you for being you

The amount of love i have for my friends & family is unmeasurable!
AngieMoo, I just kinda like you alot’

Thank you all for your Christmas & New year wishes, cards & gifts!
I was totally Overwhelmed & astonished at the amount of cards we got & all the gifts under the tree!
I had to turn all my notifications on my phone off from Facebook, Twitter, my blog site, Instagram, Snapchat, email and well basically every notification was turned off because I was getting so many!
I had to have breaks from opening our gifts as I keep getting major sensory overload, Christmas day was no exception!

I loved the whole day, I loved all the notifications & found it really hard to stop them! I loved being with family even if it was only for 45 minutes, they were 45 minutes better than non! And me in a pub as well, on Xmas day! I loved having my Mum & Daddy Paul over from Cyprus,  spending time with both is always so precious! New years eve with my Mummy taking silly selfies was priceless! Playing ye old games, making up new rules & watching DebbieRahRah & Sister Bell build a bridge out of ‘Bananagram’ tiles & ‘Jenga’ blocks was incredible! Those 2 certainly have wild imaginations!

Thank you to all for being part of my life, for inspiring me with your art, your photography, your writing, your love for fitness & generally just making me want to be a better me!

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*Photo taken from a thank you card I received today from Rae Hodgetts*


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I don’t want Alarms to wake me!

Nooooooo! Back to Alarms waking us up tomorrow then! 😠
It’s been a lovely 10 days of DebbieRahRah at home! We both wish it could last longer but keeping Fugly (our bungalow) isn’t free & due to me being unable to work…

She’s such a good un! 

Me however, what little sleep I get & how much I kick and punch her in the night I don’t know how she wakes me! Unless it’s for the gym of course!
I just want to remind people that I don’t punch and kick my wife for fun! In fact I have no control and no memory of it! It doesn’t wake me, I only know when I wake in the morning and she’s slept on the sofa!

No gym for me in the morning, I think in fact my appointment tomorrow is much better! I know, I know, is that possible I hear you cry!?
Yes it is… because I’m off to see a man about some pain relief! Yep, that day is finally here! Time to find out what Mr Pain clinic man can do for my back this time!…

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