Staying true to myself!

This past 18 months, I have been working really hard, on becoming my true authentic self. 
I am so much happier in my life now, except when it comes to handling my chronic pain levels!
I don’t like to be truthful about this part of me because I don’t want people to ever think I am after a pity party, I’m not! 

I don’t want people to be sad for me! 


But how can I be authentic if this is a part of me that I don’t share completely! 

So here goes… I have quite honestly never felt pain like this coming from my sacroiliac joint, hips, spine, legs, piriformis muscle and my feet! 

Tonight I broke! I couldn’t stop the tears! 

I am quiet certain this isn’t MS, maybe it is part of my fibromyalgia, maybe its just an old injury that’s never been looked into properly? 

Just like in my health coaching programme I did, maybe this is somewhere that has never been approached completely?
In yoga, they say we hold alot of our emotion in different areas of our bodies. Ok, some of you must have heard of stress being held in your shoulders? Well, that’s exactly what I’m talking about! 

What if the manifestation of chronic pain is  being caused by an unresolved emotional issue?

It has been said that there is a distinct connection between emotions and injuries.

A fall from being pushed in a malicious way will manifest in the body differently than a fall from an accidental trip on a very peaceful, carefree day.
Doesn’t that make you think! 

What ever it is, I’d like it fixed & my life back now… Pain free!

You are not only your body or only your reflection!Β 

Always! And if that’s too hard, don’t find another mirror, just stop looking!

You are not your reflection! You are so much more than anyone else can and will ever see!

You are your soul, your spirit, your smile, your heart, your warmth, your love, your charm, and much much more!

You are not only your body or only your reflection! 

πŸ™πŸ’™πŸ’œπŸ’š 

Meme shared via pinterest, words are my own

Love yourself, all of yourself!Β 

If someone loves you for ALL that you are, why shouldn’t you love ALL of yourself! 

We are made to believe that we should all look and behave a certain way, to be accepted in society. 

I have never been one to follow the crowd, or to be put in a box.

Yet for so many years, since the very young age of around 10 or 11 (when I started developing my extra parts that define me as a lady, my #babylons and child bearing #hips πŸ˜‰πŸ‘™) I was always made to feel like I was fat, my shoulders were too broad, my hips too wide & my #booty too big! 

It was children the same age as me that went to the same school, they were the ones doing the name calling! 

It has taken me until the age of 36 to realise how I have, for so many years, spoken to my body in such a cruel way! I have spoken to her the same as all the children that called me fat at school! How sad is that! 

– 

My body has for those 36 years treated me, with nothing but care and dignity! She’s showed up for me every time I’ve needed her, despite how badly I may have treated her at times! She’s always been there, curves and all! 

– 

They’re amazing thing these bodies of ours! Lets start treating them better! Stop speaking badly of yours next time you look in the mirror. Speak to her how you would to your most beautiful friend! 

πŸ’šπŸ™πŸ’š

Meme shared via Pinterest, write up is my own, Vix

Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy

So, today on MS world day 2017, I went for my trail session of Hyperbaric Oxygen Therapy. 20 minutes breathing pure oxygen, I was in the chamber for a total of 30 minutes with 2 others also trialling the therapy.
I didn’t mind being in the chamber, it was a little daunting hearing the solid metal door being closed and the lock being tightened. My heart started to race but I soon calmed that down with my yoga breathing!
I felt a little claustrophobic because the mask has to fit so tight, I kept feeling short of breath and hearing yourself breathing is very off putting! 

Eventually I regulated my breathing but only for a short time, it was every time I heard the 2 other people’s breathing change, that’s when I would notice my own breath again. Once more I tried yoga breathing (Pranayama) but soon realised I didn’t need to inhale quite as deeply with the mask on!
There is an option of wearing a hood instead of a mask. So you basically look like you work in the forensic department​ at the FBI! πŸ™ŠπŸ˜‚
The session was soon over but I’m not sure how quickly the full one hour session would pass!
An intensive course is recommended when first starting, which is 16 sessions over 5 weeks. Each session costing Β£16 for MS patients and Β£45 for short term conditions! Gulp!! 

Β£16 doesn’t sound much but when you have 3 sessions a week for 5 weeks, it soon adds up.

This price is heavily subsidised through the charities fundraising as its actual cost should be Β£50 per person! 
I did actually notice a little less cog fog after the 20 minute session which I wasn’t expecting to feel any different.
I shall do some more thinking about this treatment & if I think I could stand being in there for a whole hour?

🌬🌫πŸŒͺ

Photo is my own, as are the words

I forgive you for all the heartache you put me through 18-19 years ago

When you’re directed to  the only free isle in the supermarket, you look up and see that the cashier is your ex! 

In that split second you make the choice to stay and start unpacking the trolley! 

She see’s you and flushes! That’s right Vix, you got this, just another person! 

Conversation starts as she packs your bag for you. You talk back in a normal tone, just pleasantries. Forgetting everything that happened in the past, I might have poor short term memory recall skills but my long-term memory is perfect!  
In my head I tell her I forgive her for everything! Because everything that happened 18-19 years ago, shaped who I am today and for that I am grateful​! 

Anyone that knows me from that time in my life, I’m sure you will remember my attitude towards the situation! 

So you will know how momentous this mornings events are! 
This confirms to me that my health coaching sessions are paying off and I am becoming a better version of myself! 

Thank you @louiseavilesyoga 

πŸ’πŸ’šπŸ’œπŸ™

All memes shared via Pinterest , all words are my own

Family weekend of quilt free fun!

What an amazing weekend! 

We ate what we wanted, drank what we wanted, took selfies with no make up on, laughed so much we might have pee’d a little and just basically had a flipping incredible time!

I don’t feel guilty about it, neither am I going to punish myself by not eating or exercising until I’ve worked off those extra calories, (frankly that would be impossible!) 
I may think about cutting back a little but it won’t be much different to what I ate/drank before! 

(She says with a cookie in her hand!… Hey its ok, its gluten free! πŸ˜‰πŸ˜‚)
Life is all about balance!

πŸ’™πŸ’šβ€πŸ’›πŸ’œ

Shared via instagram, words are my own