Denervation Recovery Day One and Two


It’s hard to remember the days when I first had to take time off work because of my MS. I have come such a long way from that person that used to sit feeling sorry for herself, not doing anything to change the way she felt, just feeling more and more depressed!

Those days are real, they did exist, I was that person! So easily I could become her again! This procedure I have had done on my lower spine is to help ease my pain I feel, to gain this relief I have to endure a multitude of pains. The physical pain which comes in so many different ways, from moving incorrectly to even just standing. Then there is the emotional pain, some of this pain I feel may be hard for you to understand. Although you can’t see the physical pain itself, you can in fact see the physical effect of it in my face, in my eyes. The emotional pain will at times be so much easier to know when I feel it, you see I suffer from terrible mood swings. Almost like a teenager unable to get their own way, when I can’t do something that I have been used to doing its painful!



It was an easier day than I expect yesterday! The first day of recovery, unable to take part in my usual Pilates class at 11am. Even though I missed it, I was ok with it, that made me feel proud. The rest of the day I slept on and off.

The evening wasn’t too bad either. Deb came home from work, she sorted the dinner, homemade spaghetti bolognase that I had lifted out of the freezer and some pasta to go with. This made it easier for me as I wasn’t able to stand for more than a few minutes and therefore unable to cook the evening meal.

The exercise class I couldn’t attend last night was ‘Clubbercise’ I have only been to this class twice and, if I’m honest it’s a bit fast for me with a lot of side ways moving, which I have a major issue with. The class has also changed rooms, it used to be in an area that had direct access to outside, which was ideal for me to cool down quickly. The class is now in the ‘Dance studio’ the same room that I do Pilates in. Excellent because it has air-conditioning which means I keep cooler whilst exercising, the downside is that when I walk out of the room the temperature difference is too extreme for me, especially if my core temperature is high from cardio exercises.

This is a constraint of my MS, I can’t adjust to differences in temperature like my partner does. I can’t cool down quick enough when needed and vice versa, I don’t warm up quick enough! For these reasons I am apprehensive about going to Clubbercise again and didn’t mind that I couldn’t go!



A harder day today, missed out on a class called ‘PiYo’ a mix of Pilates and Yoga. A class that I wanted to try from the moment I heard about it and also a class that I was very nervous about trying! When my friend told me he had been to a class a few weeks ago, I was really sad that I hadn’t gone with him. He came around to my home to tell me all about the class and how hard it was, when he told me he thought it would be to hard for me, I booked in for the next available class straight away.

I wasn’t well enough to go to the class last week because of my MS. It hadn’t occurred to me then that I wouldn’t be able to go today, but I have to be good especially after all the work I had done on Thursday.

After my first PiYo class I couldn’t stop thinking about it, I practised some of the harder moves that I could remember, until I could no longer remember the easier option that the instructor ‘Hannah Bailey’ had showed me. That’s the thing with my MS, I forget things easily and quickly!

I was so looking forward to going again! I guess I just have to wait a little bit longer. Hopefully I’ll be so much better and stronger when I go to my second class!


The evening,

Saturday evenings are my favourite! As much as I love going to all the exercise classes with Deb and our friends, I do miss the us time that we rarely get now. Saturday evening there aren’t any classes so we get to chill together snuggled on the sofa with our 2 dogs ‘our kids’

As far as pain goes and how my back is after the procedure, today I can stand for a little longer, around five minutes. Enough time to wash half of the pots in the bowl, the pain was starting to increase by then so I had to sit down and rest.

Baby steps! I’ll soon be fighting fit again!


The blogger that can’t write, the artist that can’t create & the Pilates advocate that can’t practice


This is where I am now but I can’t walk well and definitely show the pain!

I’m quiet because it hurts. Everywhere hurts so much, it’s a pain like no other and nothing stops it completely.
My mood is the lowest it has been in a long time, it’s expected when I’m struggling to manage my pain.

Normally I would be using exercise to help with my pain but I’m having to take some time off that.
I started to experience funny sensations in my feet which, over 2 weeks have crept up both of my legs.
Around the same time this happened I found my legs were getting weaker, I have now adapted my walking ‘gait’ to suit how my legs feel. My feet are now wider apart for stability & my legs although weak are also a lot like I imagine wooden legs to be, stiff!

So after speaking with my Neurological Physiotherapist I have been advised not to exercise at the gym & no pilates classes for a while.
It’s time to give my body a rest & not make it harder for it to recover. It seems more & more likely that this is a relapse!
Like my Big Sistaaah of the MegaSpecial variety says: just when we get our lives back on track our MS flares up & reminds us it’s still there!

The 'Foot ups'
The ‘Foot ups’

I have to wear my ‘foot ups’ full time now as well, even in doors! They help me to lift my toes when I walk, this problem that I am having is called ‘Dropped foot’

Foot drop

Foot drop, or dropped foot, is a symptom experienced by some people with multiple sclerosis. It is caused by weakness in the ankle that means the foot drags along the ground or hangs down when walking. People with MS with foot drop are more vulnerable to tripping and falling. Walking also uses more energy and people may alter their gait to compensate, commonly lifting their leg higher.

Foot drop can be treated using functional electrical stimulation (FES). This uses small electrical charges to force the foot into a more natural position for walking. An ankle splint (orthosis) can also be used to hold the foot in a rigid position.

These are the days that are the longest! I can’t exercise, blogging is extremely hard as I’m lacking concentration & can’t do my art without falling asleep!
It’s a good job my artwork is digital otherwise I’d be waking up with paint all over my face! Instead I just wake up with ‘qwerty’ across my forehead!

I’m the blogger that can’t write, the artist that can’t create & the Pilates advocate that can’t practice.

*It has taken me literally all day to do this short blog!*


Time to get back on it! #SerousFaceIsOn

This is the week I’m going to make all the difference!

Remember it’s not ‘why me’ it’s ‘TRY ME!’
My alarm is set for gym o’clock! #thisgirlcan


Best thing I’ve ever done and believe me it still isn’t easy! I make myself look at me in a mirror 3 times a week! Why? Because I love pilates!
This is so true!…


Had enough of what I saw in that mirror!
No stopping me now until I like what I see again!



If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop reaching for it and I don’t mean the biscuit tin! 😂

Happy funtastic Friday peeps!


Happy funtastic Friday peeps! This is where it begins!

•Back to basics Pilates class with Kate King = Love!
•Collecting MegaSpecial Sistaaah Sarah Hickman & nephew Lewis from train station = More love
•Rugby World Cup starts = Happy
•England v Fiji = Adrenalin

•Shelley’s family fun day at The Weavers Arms, Fillongley in aid of MS-UK = FUN
•Me in the stocks at the event = Arghhhh
•A group of MegaSpecials (MSrs) all meeting together at event = Amazing & dream come true!
•Adam’s 35th birthday party in evening = Shattered me, Sare & Sista Rosemary plus more fun!

•Recover! 😜


MS-UK | Fundraiser of the month

Have u ever heard that saying, ‘proud as punch’ well that’s how u feel right now!

Proud of all my friends that made up team BAM4MSUK because we have been chosen as fundraiser of the month for doing so well in the ‘Color Run’
I know it says my name but it was a team effort! We did it guys! Same next year!?

Click on the link to read my story & stay tuned as I’ll be sharing more about it soon! 😄 🌈


Rediscovering a MegaSpecial me


Oh my days! This was my post, this day FOUR years ago! Counting down to the firewalk fundraiser we organised for the MS Trust!
I never thought that night would have such a massive hit! All I wanted to do was prove to myself ‘if I can walk on fire then I can be stronger than MS’

I didn’t realise then what an amazing journey I was about to go on in rediscovering myself!
It’s taken along time but I think I’m finally at a place in my life that seemed so unreachable so many times!

I know there will be difficult times ahead, this is my life & I have MS! I’m in such a better head space now than I ever was before! As long as I stay this way, this focused then I hope I can handle anything thrown my way!

#MyInvisibleFight #3 Bored of being bored!

#MyInvisibleFight #invisibleillness #invisiblefight #iiwk15



After seeing the post on Facebook (shown above) I have decided I shall take part & so every time I see a photo opportunity of #MyInvisibleFight I shall post the picture on instagram & here on my blog site which will then share to Facebook & twitter!

If you know me, are close to me & think this will be too upsetting for you then please stop reading now.

My intention isn’t to upset people, nor is it to make people feel sorry for me or others with Invisible illnesses. We don’t need a ‘Pity party’ we just want people to understand & realise how hard it can be for us! How incredible we are! How strong we have to be!

To be honest, this is quite a good ‘pick me up’ for me as I often forget the challenges I have & still do overcome!


My 3rd picture is so terribly boring! No no no, not the picture! The picture isn’t boring, it shows boredom!

Everybody at some point experiences boredom but I suspect it’s short lived? What if you experienced boredom everyday.
What if you were looking forward to the weekend, only to find out you when you wake in the morning any plans you had that day would have to be cancelled! That’s right, cancelled!
I didn’t have many plans for today, Saturdays are usually my days off from exercise especially when my partner is off work so that wasn’t a problem for me, what was a problem was my pain levels! Far too high!
It was then that I was asked if I wanted to go clothes shopping! Seriously! But we went shopping last night, I hadn’t anticipated going today as well!
That was it, left home alone! I can’t stop my partner from doing things because I can’t go! I bet it’s as hard for her to go alone as it is for me to say ‘I can’t go’
The fear then is not knowing how long I’ll be cancelling plans for! Is this going to pass soon? Temporary, it’s only temporary? Please let it only be temporary! Oh man, I’m bored already!


‘Ping’ goes my phone, I reach for my phone & smile! This is when the fashion show begins, yey! I have always love clothes shopping so this was perfect, I didn’t feel as though I was missing out at all!

I’m very lucky in that I have wonderful friends who I get to chat with most days via the wonderful world of technology that we live in today!

That wasn’t the case for me 5 years ago when I was suffering badly from acute Multiple sclerosis relapses. At this point I didn’t have the amazing network of friends that I have now! I didn’t have the knowledge or the understanding of my 2 illnesses (Multiple Sclerosis – MS & Fibromyalgia) as I do now & I certainly didn’t have the ability to say ‘you go, I should really stay here’ What I did have was a lot more days when I had no choice but to stay in bed because I didn’t ‘look after me’ and because I didn’t have all my Internet friends I had a tremendous amount of boredom!