My fight with ‘Fight Klub’ and Multiple Sclerosis

Please understand, before reading any further. This is a very raw, straight from the heart, honest blog!

There is also some rude language right at the end of this piece which I shall not appologise for as it’s how I feel!

I feel so angry!
It’s so unfair!
I just want to better myself!
I found something I love… Fight Klub!
It’s extremely hard core!
I love it!

Every time I do it I over heat
My core temperature rises so high
And I can’t control it!
I have extreme sensitivity to heat!

I’m trying different ways to keep my temperature down but nothing has worked yet.
Even after the class finishes my temperature continues to rise!
I have to finish the class before everyone else, to try and lower my core temperature enough to get to the car!

After the class my daily MS symptoms are worse, every single one!
My legs are weaker and give way under me
My vision blurs in my right eye to the point of not being able to see much
My hearing starts to fade and all the noises around me sound muffled
My MS fatigue is worse than ever
My speech slurs
I find it hard to catch my breath!
I can’t talk, if I do I loose my breath

I even get old symptoms reoccur!
My vertigo comes back
Last night I had the MS Hug again! Thats been a while! This is really not something you want when your already so out of breath you think you might pass out!

The MS hug is a symptom of multiple sclerosis where you feel as if you have a tight band around your chest or ribs or it can be pressure on just one side of your torso. Some people find that it is painful to breathe.

Last weak I fell after a fight klub class!
I hadn’t realised the change in floor height as I walked out of the room and ended up in a heap on the floor feeling sorry for myself!
Thanks to Hannah the instructor for speaking sense to me, I pulled myself together with only my pride bruised!

Last night’s class was one of my best classes! There’s no in between for me, I’m either all in or all out! I had it together, throwing my punches but not to hard, it is shadow boxing after all!

After the class last night my legs were weaker than normal and I was extremely hot!
It was during the journey home that it happened, a friend had taken us that night, we often take it in turns to drive. I say we when I really mean my partner and our friend take it in turns to drive! As if i could drive after that class!
I must look an absolute state afterwards, but that only reflects how hard I’ve worked!

I think it can be quite a shock for people to see me like that! I know it must be upsetting when it is out of your control and there is litterally nothing you can do to put me right.
Why do I do it to myself? Because I have found something that is just perfect for me to let out my anger, my frustration! I just need to learn more self control and not put every ounce of energy I have into it because of course, I still have to be able to walk back to the car afterwards, oh and then there’s the walking from the car to my home when we return!
Being carried to the bungalow is not going to be an option! Not again!

It was years ago that exercising was a big no no if u have ms but then they learnt, the symptoms that come during and after exercising are short lived and with no lasting damage!
As long as I can cope with these symptoms I’ll be ok, thats what I’m trying to do, find a way of coping so I can continue to do something tht I love so very much!

So here are my words for today, tomorrow and as long as I have MS (obviously this is for life or until they find a cure!)…
Know this, I will always stand up to it! I will never give in because like Fight Klub, I’m either all in or I’m all out! There’s only one way to be, I will never stop fighting

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megaspecial.co.uk

Just be yourself; you are wonderful!

Nice little reminder for everyone this morning – myself included!

JUST BE YOURSELF; YOU ARE WONDERFUL!

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Be inspired but not proud — #pilates #pilates4ms #pilateslovers #thisgirlcan #ishapeme #pain #chronicpain #ms #multiplesclerosis #inspiration #proud

Wow! I totally smashed Pilates then! Pain was unbelievable but I pushed through it and achieved so much!
I know it says be inspired which I am but not proud but I really am!

Why does it say ‘not proud’?
Discuss…

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And yet somehow I still keep going! #MS #mspain #nervepain #nevergivein #thisgirlcan #ishapeme #megaspecialme #MegaSpecial #multiplesclerosis #inspiration

And yet somehow I still keep going!
#MS #mspain #nervepain #nevergivein #thisgirlcan #ishapeme #megaspecialme #MegaSpecial #multiplesclerosis #inspiration

megaspecial.co.uk

Fight Klub round 0 = proud Vix! #blog

How flipping proud & immensely annoyed do I feel right now that I’m not going to Fight Klub!

DebbieRahRah is still going which I’m really pleased about & also she won’t be alone as one of our close friends Adam is also go with her!

It’s Adams first time at fight klub so this is for him…

*Proud because I’m letting my body rest after my Tysabri infusion
#bekindtoyourself
*Annoyed because MS can get in the way of so many things it’s just so gawd damn unfair!!!
#mssucks

Just love he human body & how amazing it is….

megaspecial.co.uk

#blog ‘When did peeling a banana become so hard?’

I’ve come to learn that with MS comes a ‘Multitude of Sins’ maybe that’s what it also stands for as well as the original Multiple Sclerosis of course.
But then us MeSsy folk also like to rename it with names like one of my favourites ‘ManySmiles’ and of course the original one I was given to me by a very dear friend Toni. She is the one that told me MS just stands for what everyone has always known about me, it just means we’re all MegaSpecial!

This brings me onto my silly bit of research I plan on doing later today, since my MS has progressed I have started to loose a lot of strength in my hands meaning my dexterity is poor!

I have had to start using different cutlery which I used to find embarrassing when eating out, until of course I got over myself! I’ve always liked to be different after all!

I find counting loose change to be difficult sometimes too, more so when I’m tired.
Using a ‘chip & pin’ machine can also be tricky, especially if I’m have a day when my tremors might be bad! Always fun trying to put your card into a machine when you can stop your hand from shaking and then trying to put your pin number in! It’s a good job we have ‘ManySmiles’

I have now also noticed how hard it can be for me now to peel Oranges and in particular Bananas!
When I was searching the internet for some images I could use for this blog I came across something very interesting!
I think I have been peeling bananas incorrectly my whole life but I’m not sure yet until I try it! So later today when I come to eat my Banana whilst having my monthly infusion of ‘Tysabri’ at my local hospital I attend for everything MS, instead of asking my ‘Ty buddy’ to peel my Banana for me I’m going to try it myself following these guidelines!

I’ll let you know what happens! Stay tuned! ☆♡☆

megaspecial.co.uk

#Blog ‘Click your heels together & dance’

Considering the amount of pain I am in and the level of my Fatigue it still amazes me how I manage to do what I do!
This is why I am virtually kicking my heels together, dancing and celebrating my love for pilates and how with this I am literally finding my feet 👏

megaspecial.co.uk

When simple tasks get the MegaSpecial treatment! #blog

When simple tasks get the MegaSpecial treatment!

I find that it’s so easy to forget about simple mundane tasks that become such a pain in the booty because MS gets in the way!

Counting money into piles without it falling down because u now have the not so wonderful MS tremors!
Thank goodness I have mastered the art of laughing at myself!

#thisisourlifenow

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Thank you for being you

The amount of love i have for my friends & family is unmeasurable!
AngieMoo, I just kinda like you alot’

Thank you all for your Christmas & New year wishes, cards & gifts!
I was totally Overwhelmed & astonished at the amount of cards we got & all the gifts under the tree!
I had to turn all my notifications on my phone off from Facebook, Twitter, my blog site, Instagram, Snapchat, email and well basically every notification was turned off because I was getting so many!
I had to have breaks from opening our gifts as I keep getting major sensory overload, Christmas day was no exception!

I loved the whole day, I loved all the notifications & found it really hard to stop them! I loved being with family even if it was only for 45 minutes, they were 45 minutes better than non! And me in a pub as well, on Xmas day! I loved having my Mum & Daddy Paul over from Cyprus, spending time with both is always so precious! New years eve with my Mummy taking silly selfies was priceless! Playing ye old games, making up new rules & watching DebbieRahRah & Sister Bell build a bridge out of ‘Bananagram’ tiles & ‘Jenga’ blocks was incredible! Those 2 certainly have wild imaginations!

Thank you to all for being part of my life, for inspiring me with your art, your photography, your writing, your love for fitness & generally just making me want to be a better me!